(Published Friday Feb. 29, 2008)

ROSE (roz) n. One of the most beautiful of all flowers, a symbol of fragrance and loveliness. Often given as a sign of appreciation.

RASPBERRY (raz’ber’e) n. A sharp, scornful comment, criticism or rebuke; a derisive, splatting noise, often called the Bronx cheer.

We hereby deliver:

ROSES to the family, friends and grateful community of Alma Pastega. She died a week ago at the age of 90 after years of coping with Parkinson’s disease. Only family and close friends knew the extent of her illness.

For more than four decades, we knew her as a vibrant participant in her family’s many local philanthropic enterprises. The list of those helped by Alma and her husband, Mario Pastega, began in 1961, when the couple made Corvallis their home base for management of the Pepsi Co. bottling plants that they own in Oregon.

A stylish, pretty woman, Alma Pastega was warm, intelligent and unpretentious. A 1996 article mentioned that she favored having her hair styled at a beauty college because she so enjoyed interacting with the students.

As her devoted husband of almost 70 years remarked last week, “We just lost a great lady. Everything I ever did, she was a part of it.”

RAZZIES to something that rang our “We just can’t believe it!” response:

Razzies to the unbelievable. We demand a recount! LA’s tap water? The tastiest? Has someone spiked the water with delusion-inducing drugs? No, it is just that none of the entrants in the 18th annual Berkeley Spring International Water Testing came from Oregon.

If there had been water from the Bull Run Reservoir in Portland or the pristine stretches of the North Santiam River in Salem or Santiam River that produces water for Albany and Lebanon, we’d bet those folks would have been wowed. (No offense, but we’re not saying much about Corvallis’ drinking water’s taste).

And call us downright skeptical and unimpressed that LA’s water tastes the best.

Now, you know what would be impressive? If all of those plastic-bottle-of-water-toting LA residents considered switching to drinking tasty filtered and chilled tap water in refillable bottles. Same healthy idea would work locally, too ...

ROSES to Corvallis dentist Ken Johnson, who could easily have kicked back and taken and enjoyed a well-deserved retirement.

Instead, he enlisted the aid of the Boys & Girls Club of Corvallis to establish a free weekly dental clinic for children in need.

Thanks to a $75,000 grant, the help of his wife Dot, acting as hygienist, donated labor and the contracting expertise of Russ Peterson, children in need who require dental care have a place to go for both routine and major dental care.

We’re smiling, just thinking about it.

RAZZIES — and the 2008 Delusional Man of the Year 2008 award — to Ralph Nader.

How many times do American voters have to say “No! We don’t want you for our president!” before the famed consumer advocate and activist gets the message and redirects his considerable intellect to more productive pursuits?

Apparently, at least five times.

Nader, who turned 74 this week, has declared himself a presidential candidate again, and he has named Matt Gonzalez, a former member of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors, as his running mate.

We’d call for a drumroll, but given that Nader’s epitaph will now likely be cemented as “spoiler” instead of “crusading consumer advocate,” “bwwhaap-waaah” sounds more appropriate.

ROSES to Zane Kesey, 46, former University of Oregon wrestler and the son of late author Ken Kesey, who also was a UO wrestler.

Kesey recently loaded up his late father’s famous psychedelic bus with wrestlers and their supporters and brought them to a UO home basketball game to protest plans to count wrestling out of the UO athletics line-up.

UO athletic director Pat Kilkenny announced in July that, among other things, the department is considering axing men’s wrestling and adding a men’s baseball team. (Of course, he said, that latter idea has nothing, nothing, to do with rival Oregon State University being a two-time national college baseball champion ... )

But wrestling is a big deal in the Kesey clan, and the Kesey family has major influence.

Ken Kesey, who died in 2001 at age 66, was the author of such Oregon landmark literature as “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” and “Sometimes a Great Notion.” His wrestling record was none too shabby, either. It still stands as one of UO’s top 10.

Zane’s brother, Jed, also was a UO wrestler. In fact, he died in a van accident on a snowy eastern Washington highway in 1984, on his way to a UO wrestling match against Washington State University.

The Kesey family can’t compare in sheer dollar value to the high-powered athletics support that UO enjoys from former athletes such as Phil Knight of Nike fame. But their legacy is as rich in its own way, and as lasting. That’s something that wise UO athletics officials and administrators would do well to consider.