Why does ‘Dark Knight’ continue to dominate? Check out the competition

So, “The Dark Knight” recently rounded the $500 million mark that represents third base to “Titanic’s” roughly $600 million home plate. Box Office experts, whoever they are, say it likely won’t make it all the way home, but hey, $500 million is none too shabby.

Whether you loved or hated the latest installment in the Batman legend, any movie that makes that much bank deserves our attention. Any movie that we as a country, or a world, spend that much of our increasingly small checks on is worth our consideration. What does it say about us that we’re turning out to watch a man in tights beat the living tar out of another man in clown makeup?

Perhaps it’s an indication of our obsession with celebrity, and more importantly dead or drug-addicted celebrities. Combine the two, and you’ve got the American equivalence of Medusa’s gaze. We’re unable to look away.

Should we coin a new term for this obsession? Perhaps we should call it celebrifreude. I know, that breaks down on the level of its Latin roots, but you get what I’m saying.

People have attributed the film’s popularity to Heath Ledger’s overdose, although I’m not sure even we would pay to see a movie simply because there’s a totally hot dead guy in it. Call me a shameless optimist.

Another possibility is that we’re so desperate for escape that we’ll pay money to see ridiculous costumed feats as long as there’s no reference to the wars in Iraq or Afghanistan, our tanking economy or the upcoming election. I’m not trying to talk down to anybody. There are days when I’d rather watch an IMAX 3-D lava lamp than consider how far in debt our country gets with every lap the clock makes around the bases.

But a simple behemoth of oil and light “The Dark Knight” is not. I actually found it to be quite compelling — well acted and filmed, it’s everything a popcorn movie should be. It’s got all the spectacle, with few of the insults to our intelligence most summer fare gleefully slings at us like a drunken monkey. Unlike, say, this weekend’s new flick, “Bangkok Dangerous,” “Dark Knight” has something to say amid the growling and gravity-defying leaps.

The reason I mention “Bangkok Dangerous” is because I believe it lies at the heart of the real reason “Dark Knight” is making more money than the Joker on a crime spree. Just about every other movie that’s played in mainstream movie houses since then has been utter crapola.

I haven’t seen “Bangkok Dangerous,” but sometimes you don’t have to see a movie to know that it’s going to suck with the force of a black hole on human growth hormone. That’s assuming that a black hole could use human growth hormone, mind you, but I hope you’ll forgive the comparison.

Last week, Hollywood bombarded us with what I thought was the most shameful opening slate in a while: “College,” “Disaster Movie” and “Babylon A.D.” Now, if you’ll look at the movie pages in the back of the section, you’ll see that I’m running reviews for two of those this week.

“Why so late?,” you ask.

When a movie is completely and utterly devoid of any redeeming value, studios refuse to allow critics to screen it ahead of time. This means that would-be reviewers have to wait until after it opens to write their scathing, self-aggrandizing critiques of the “film.”

Because “Bangkok Dangerous” is just such a film, and the studio is hoping to delay critical response until after the unwashed masses have paid to see it, it’s not holding press screenings. Perhaps you can read all about it in next week’s section, and if this tidal wave of cinematic garbage continues, we’ll just run reviews a week late for the rest of the summer season.

Or — and here’s a wacky idea — you could actually listen to that voice in the back of your mind that’s saying, “Sure, ‘Bangkok Dangerous’ might help me escape for two hours, but how will I look at myself in the morning? And if I vote with my dough for this generic action movie, won’t it only encourage Nick Cage to keep churning these out year after year after year?”

Seriously, if we don’t help Cage to hit rock bottom, thus forcing him to go back to the art house films he once actually excelled in, who will?

So, before you shell out one clam to see “Bangkok Dangerous,” think back on watching “Mummy: Curse of the Dragon Emperor” or “Death Race.” Try to count all the really good mainstream movies you’ve seen this summer. I’ll even give you “Tropic Thunder” and “Wall-E.”

Then, decide what you want the next “Dark Knight” to be. Every movie that kills at the box office says something about us as a culture. I’m willing to admit that I once wore a shirt that read “I prefer to be called Batman.” Would you be willing to wear one reading “I paid money to see ‘Bangkok Dangerous’?”

Jake TenPas can be reached at jake.tenpas@lee.net or 758-9514.