Autumn in Oregon has always been a time of magic and wonder for me; the swift, brisk winds whipping ghostly whorls of leaves into knee-deep clouds of ochre, burnt sienna and coppery bronze. Acorn helicopters spinning on the tailwinds blown up from exotic sunny climes chased down with raucous glee, each one a treasured catch. Freedom and carefree abandon carried me on wings. I flew like a bird of paradise through my childhood.

Today, however, like Joan Didion in her novel, "The Year of Magical Thinking," I find myself engaged in my own "magical thinking." This fall completes the cycle of my first year without my parents. My father passed away last fall, three years after my mother's death. There is an autumnal flatness in these days and I recognize - perhaps, for the first time since my father's death - the first real signs of grief. Every anniversary has come and passed, and I'm left to confront that "magical thinking" no longer can mask the deep groove of absence. Grief left unattended becomes a specter of threatening proportions; it is time to let my parents take flight on autumn gales.

My mother and father were each other's perfect fit. The rarity of their union and devotion was legendary. Married for 48 years and having raised five children, they were finally able to build their dream home. When my mother succumbed to cancer a year later, my father was adrift in a grief that would never leave him. Although he made a valiant attempt to rally during the first year after her death, his heart was not resilient enough to sustain the loss. That grief played as large a role in his decline as his physical ailments, and I'm left to wonder if one of his peers could have reached him where his children could not. Because there is relief for adults age 55 and over dealing with grief and life-altering changes.

Solace is a powerful healer, and having a person who can understand the changes in our life circumstances because they have been there, too, can offer so much more than a kind word or deed. Being really heard and understood by our peers is not only comforting, it is validating.

The Senior Peer Counseling (SPC) program provides such support. It is a free, confidential in-home program for older adults who are in the midst of making a decision, overcoming difficulties, or facing one of life's many changes. Senior peer counselors are trained volunteers providing solutions to a variety of circumstances: problem solving, financial guidance, grief counseling, end-of-life planning, life adjustments and family dynamics.

Senior peer counselors in Corvallis work under the supervision of Benton County Mental Health and the Retired and Senior Volunteer Program (RSVP). Linn County does not have a Senior Peer Counseling Program now, but we would like to restart the program and are looking for volunteers. For more information on how to become a SPC volunteer or how to make a referral, please contact RSVP at 541-753-9197.

Denise Magee is with the Linn-Benton Retired and Senior Volunteer Program. Denise can be reached at 753-9197 or via e-mail at dmagee@csc.gen.or.us. For more information about volunteering in Linn and Benton Counties, check out www.lbvision.org.