Former NFL player, two local coaches cite safety worries

BY TOM HENDERSON

GAZETTE-TIMES REPORTER

When he was a defensive tackle for the Minnesota Vikings and Green Bay Packers, Esera Tuaolo feared no one.

So it seemed.

Inside the man, however, was a child who remembered another little boy being beaten for playing with dolls. Tuaolo never dared tell anyone he wanted an Easy-Bake Oven.

He knew he, too, would be beaten. As an adult, he had fresh fears. If people knew he was gay, he worried it would end his career as a professional football player.

Now he sees the same fears in letters and e-mails from young people. "It's heart-wrenching," he said.

Maybe it's not such a bad idea that Chicago school officials are considering a school exclusively for gay and lesbian students, Tuaolo said.

That was a dissenting opinion Thursday night at Oregon State University during a panel discussion on gay athletes. The other two panelists strongly opposed the Chicago proposal.

"Separate but equal isn't good for anyone," said Julie Williams, an openly gay volleyball and track coach at Corvallis High School. "It's laziness on the part of people who could make schools safer."

Possibly, said Tuaolo, but such philosophical arguments mean little to kids in physical peril. "I'm sorry, but that's the way I feel," he said. "I'm sick and tired of hearing from these kids."

Williams and Tuaolo were joined by OSU softball coach Kirk Walker. Walker announced he was gay three years ago, the same year his team made its first appearance in the Women's World Series. The panel was moderated by LZ Granderson, a gay writer and columnist for ESPN magazine and ESPN.com as well as a frequent contributor to ESPN's Sports Center.

The panelists agreed that gay students - including athletes - still have legitimate safety concerns. Yet things are improving. Williams remembers a Corvallis student being beaten 12 years ago. "Our community had to have a discussion," she said. "It was about student safety, not about if homosexuality is right or wrong."

Thursday's panel was the final event of National Coming Out Week on campus. Professors distributed 300 ribbons as a pledge that their classrooms are safe for gay students. Given the demand, they could have given out two or three times that many ribbons, Williams said.

"Safety is 100 percent better," she said.

It helps living on the West Coast, Walker said. "I've always been in areas where I never felt my safety was an issue," he said.

Tuaolo's experience was very different as a child in Hawaii. "I'm just happy to be here and not six feet under," he said. "There were so many times in high school that I wanted to kill myself."

He stayed in the closet for more than 30 years. "Growing up in Hawaii, the only gay-straight alliance we had was the drama club," he said.

Williams said she knows what it's like to keep her true self hidden. "I played catch and release when it came to dating in college," she said. "I'd catch a guy and, not knowing what to do with him, I'd throw him back."

The strange thing is, she said, only about 20 percent of the population is probably absolutely gay or absolutely straight. Most people fall on a continuum. "You can't tell me sexual orientation is a dot," she said.

People need to understand it's still risky to be openly gay in America, Tuaolo said. That's why gay athletes should never be "outed" at a time other than their choosing.

"It doesn't matter who you are," he said. "Coming out is difficult."