By Doug Klinkebiel | Posted: Monday, April 14, 2008 12:00 am
Once again a new era has dawned on the Oregon State University's men's basketball team. Craig Robinson has been chosen as the new head coach. I'm sure there are those happy with the hire and those who aren't. Some things never change.
Although I'm not a Beavers fan, I watched this program's success under Ralph Miller, and its terrible lows since. Some still talk about those glory days. Those discussions, however, are often laced with bitterness about how this once-proud program has been allowed to sink to these depths. That's even more understandable.
But Beaver Believers need to embrace this man's enthusiasm and understand just how much of a long haul it's going to be. No, you won't be in the dance next year, and I'm quite certain the year after that. But this gentleman went to Princeton. Princeton, I say! He just might have a few more tricks up his sleeve than you think. In fact, try to think nice thoughts, such as, if the Ducks can't figure out Washington State's offense, what chance do they have figuring out Craig's?
So, without any malice aforethought whatsoever, then here's nothing but a goodnatured look at which of the following four scenarios will most likely occur for Beaver Nation over the next five years. If the urge should strike, it's OK to laugh.
• Craig is so successful that other prominent schools are calling to offer him ka-billions of dollars to leave. OSU can't compete with that kind of money. Phil Knight can be heard laughing all the way from Eugene. Craig's parting words are, "See ya!"
• Instead, Craig realizes everything the state and Corvallis have to offer and says, "The coast, the mountains … the coast, the mountains," and signs the first-ever "eternity" contract in NCAA history and remains with the Beavers.
• His winning percentage is just .500; really important OSU basketball people contemplate the 20 years before his arrival. Again, eternity.
• His won-loss record just a taaad bit less than .500, Craig is seen out for a midnight run past Gill Coliseum. Witnesses report seeing Fans for Better Basketball running past Gill around the same time. "We only make this jaunt about every 5 years!" yells out a season ticket holder, running while clutching a portrait of Ralph. Soon after, Craig, his lovely wife Kelly and their two children are seen leaving Corvallis aboard Marine One. Athletic Director Bob De Carolis opts for the Federal Witness Protection Program.
Yes, Beaver Nation, it really has been 20 years since Mr. Miller said goodbye. Your program has been wandering aimlessly ever since. Here's sincerely hoping Mr. Robinson brings you out of the desert and back to the Promised Land of college basketball.(Now, I'm sure most of you are aware that there's a little bit more to the story about a desert and a promised land, but some things are better left unsaid.)
Doug Klinkebiel is a Lebanon resident.