I read the recent Gazette-Times article about cellphones at Yosemite with a sense of dread and disgust. Cellphone reception causes noise pollution and the idea of cellphone towers in a designated wilderness area is in direct violation of the law. Safety is a ruse. I do not want people talking on cellphones in a park any more than I want them on a commercial aircraft.
Long ago I spent several hours on an aircraft as this architect talked about plans at $10 per minute with his counterpart in New York City. I soon developed a clever trick to get people off of the phone during nonsense conversations. Talk next to their head as if you are part of the conversation. Never fails.
Why do any of us want to listen to half of a conversation at 4,000 feet with a grand vista before us? As in:
Person witnessing the vista: “Yeah, dude it is so cool."
What you can hear of the person on the other end: "Arrr, warr."
Person No. 1: "I’ve got like really bad blisters but the hike was totally tottly."
The other end: "Ar, wrrr."
Person No. 1: "I will."
The other end: "Wrrrr, ar."
Person No. 1: "Yeah, man! No, I never saw any animals."
The other end: "Arr, war."
Person No. 1: "Yeah, well I was talking to my honey then. "
The other end: "Wrrr, arr blah blah.”
Here is the hypocrisy of it all: We have sanctuary cities, but we soon will have legally mandated sanctuary noise in wildland areas. Go figure, dudes.
Corvallis (Jan. 1)