I have been thinking lately over the fuss with the national anthems. It seems everyone needs to have one of those inane assertions of one's nation's exclusivity, be it "La Lutte Contre la Tyrannie," or the piece of fabric that still waves o'er the home of the Braves, or the poor bugger asking the Lord to save the king or, as the case may be, the gracious queen.

I say let's do away with all this national anthem nonsense. I hear you asking, "But what to do at the Olympic Games? What are the bands going to play for all the gold, the silver or the bronze medal winners from all the different countries?"

Well, I am glad you asked. We will just settle on three pieces of music for everybody. For the gold medal winners, we play the "Triumphal March" from "Aida" by Verdi. The silver medal winners will get tears in their eyes upon hearing the strains of "Gaudeamus Igitur" (but not all 14 stanzas please).

Finally the bronze medal winners will be tapping their toes when they hear the band play "It's a Long Way to Tipperary."

OK, for sentimental reasons, I will make an exception for "Oh Canada." It is such a darling anthem for such adorable people. How aboot that, eh?

Leo de Vogel

Corvallis (Jan. 8)

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