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Dear Abby: Couple's house is not their home with parents next door

Dear Abby: Couple's house is not their home with parents next door

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DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been living together for almost five years. His parents bought a house a few doors down. They pop in whenever they feel like it and even walk into our bedroom while we are in bed. I need this to stop.

His mother and I had a falling-out in the past because she felt she had a right to control everything down to where I keep my dirty laundry. This is a touchy subject with my boyfriend, let alone his mother. Please help me. — NEEDS PRIVACY IN MARYLAND

DEAR NEEDS PRIVACY: No one should enter your home without first asking permission, and that goes for your boyfriend's parents. That they would enter your bedroom while you and their son are in bed is over the top.

I fail to understand why this would be a "touchy" subject with your boyfriend. When he became an adult and moved out of his parents' home, surely it had something to do with privacy. It's time you changed the locks on your doors.

Hash this out with a professional mediator if necessary. If you cannot do that, start counting your blessings. Chief among them should be thanking the Lord this woman is not your mother-in-law.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 16-year-old girl with a problem. It takes me forever to choose an outfit in the morning, no matter the occasion. It's not that I'm a fashionista. It's just that I can't seem to put together anything that makes me feel comfortable.

I'll put something on, think I like it, walk into the bathroom and then notice things about it that I don't like. It's starting to get on my nerves. I have tried shopping for clothes that I know I like, but even then, it seems like I'm changing my outfit three or four times before I leave. How can I make myself feel more comfortable about what I'm wearing? — FASHION STRUGGLE IN MICHIGAN

DEAR FASHION STRUGGLE: Try laying your clothes out and coordinating your accessories the night before. After you have done it, leave the room for an hour or so. If you like what you have assembled before you go to bed, the chances are better that you will like it in the morning. You will also be less stressed and won't have wasted time obsessing before leaving the house.

DEAR ABBY: I am hurting because my mother favors my brother. I talked to her about it a few times, but she said it hurts her when I say things like that. I don't bring it up to her now, but I am very troubled by it.

I have invited her to visit so she could meet my fiance, but she refuses. She says it's too long a drive. I miss her tremendously and want to see her. My fiance told me to give it time, but I don't think it's fair. What can I do about this situation? — RANKED SECOND IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR RANKED SECOND: Because you miss your mother and want to see her, I suggest you make the long drive and visit HER. And when you do, bring along your fiance.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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